Life.....

As I lay here thinking I'm sad. It's been several months since I been to church. I was watching some church services on YouTube And its got me thinking. The enemy tells me I'm useless because of my past and unfortunately I listen to him. I've let that keep me from going to church. I remember growing up I never missed a service. I was there Sunday morning and Sunday night and on Wednesday nights and if there was vbs or revival I was there. Now I hardly go. I do feel like my life is one big failure and ppl aren't blessed by my life.  The one thing I use to love to do I don't anymore and that is to preach. I feel like there is a hole in me. I miss it soo much. I'm so unhappy all I want is a family and to be able to travel as a evangelist and tell my story that I could touch someone else. Pray for me that I will overcome these negative feelings and get back to the place where God can use me. I miss my church family I miss the atmosphere. Hopefully I can get to a point and maybe soon start back to church. The church I want to go to is like a hour drive but where there is a will there is a way. I'm not sure who will read this if anyone. But know that I still love you guys and I know Gods got something awesome in store for your life as well as mine.